http://w.atwiki.jp/jakeandamir/ Jake and Amir.和訳wiki ja 2014-04-21T22:06:35+09:00 1398085595 https://w.atwiki.jp/jakeandamir/pages/42.html [Introduction] Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir. Amir: No, I'm recording intros. Jake: Leave, man. [Jake and Amir at their desks] Amir (listening to his headphones):Right in the kisser. Jake: Hey, um... おい、ちょっと… Amir (Talking to his headphones): Hold on one second… What? ちょっと待ってて…　何？ Jake: a lot of people have been complaining to me. 皆が俺に文句を言ってくるんだよ。 Amir: And you believe them?! 誰がお前なんか信じるか！？ Jake: I haven't said what it is yet. まだ何も言ってないんだけど… Amir: Okay, I set up a spy cam in the women's restroom. Sue me. たしかに俺は女子トイレに隠しカメラを設置した。で？ Jake: Wow. They might. うわ、それだよ。 Amir: Okay, then I'll countersue. How's that? Two sues for the price of one. 俺をどうやって訴えるっていうんだ？ Jake: It's about your stench. お前臭いぞ。 Amir: Or lack thereof. そんなこと言ってんのお前だけだよ。 Jake: No, not a lack thereof, exactly what I said. Okay? You reek of shit. いや、絶対違う。間違いなくう◯この悪臭だ。 Amir: Jealous much? 嫉妬してんの？ Jake: I'm not jealous. Look, this isn't going away, alright? You smell like you're dead. あるか！ 2014-04-21T22:06:35+09:00 1398085595 https://w.atwiki.jp/jakeandamir/pages/41.html Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir. ご覧の番組はJake and Amirです。 Amir: And I bet you I can eat this microphone. 俺マイク食えるから見てて。 Jake: No no no no. やめろやめろやめろ (Amir chokes) Jake: Oh god, no no! おい、ちょっと！ Amir: Okay. 大丈夫。 (Jake and Amir are sitting at a table with some food on it. Jake finishes putting a blindfold on Amir.) Jake: Alright. Do you know why you're here? よし。お前ここがどこかわかってるな？ Amir: Oh sheesh y'all, t'was a dream! Jake: Okay. Jake: You crying? 泣いてんの？ Amir: No! 違う！ Jake: I'm gonna give you a blindfolded taste test, see if you like some new food, and hopefully we can expand your diet. これから目隠し味覚テストをするぞ。これから与える食べ物のうちのどれかを気に入れば、それでダイエットしてみよう。 Amir: Okay, I do expand it already, so. I eat mo' and mo' chicken noogets every day. もうしてるし。ナゲットとナゲットとこれまたいっぱいのナゲットを食ってるからね。 Jake: Here we go. (Feeds Amir a piece of pineapple) やるぞ。 Amir: Och. Blach. Oh my god. おあ、なにこれ。 Jake: How is it? 何だと思う？ Amir: Tastes like a cold and sweet... like a wet chicken nugget or some 2014-04-13T19:17:59+09:00 1397384279 https://w.atwiki.jp/jakeandamir/pages/40.html INTRO Amir - Hey, you're watching Amir- FRIG. Jake - Terrible. Amir - Terribly bad maybe. Jake - Right. EPISODE Jake - (Eating a sandwich) Amir - Ugh, I don't know how you can eat that garbage. なんで生ゴミなんか食べてんの？ Jake – It’s chicken ceaser salad wrap. チキンシーザーサンドイッチだよ。 Amir – Yeah. Do you have any idea how they made that lettuce? そのレタスがどこで作られたか知ってんのか？ Jake – On a lettuce farm? レタス畑じゃないの？ Amir – In a friggin test tube, in a lab, on the back of human mice. 研究所の試験官の中…人型のネズミの背中に生えてんだよ！ Jake – I doubt that. お前は何を言っているんだ。 Amir – You doubt, that they can grow human ears, on the back of mice? Hahaha. お前こそ、ネズミの背中に耳が生やせるとでも？ハハハ。 Jake – I said I doubt that they can grow lettuce on the back of human mice. ネズミの背中に生えてるレタスの話をしてんだろが。 Amir – Do you know what a humpster is? お前ハムスターが何なのか知ってんの？ Jake – I have half an hour for lunch every day… 俺早く昼メシ食べないと…… Amir – A hybrid cell line, made out of hamster oocytes, fertilized with male sperm. Ok, that food you’re eating might as well be 2014-04-12T19:42:30+09:00 1397299350 https://w.atwiki.jp/jakeandamir/pages/39.html INTRO BEN: Hey, you're watching Adele Dazeem and Amir, on CollegeHabbaps. JAKE: ...What? AMIR: It's fine! [Jake and Amir approach the front door of an apartment.] (ジェイクとアミールはアパートのドアの前にいる） AMIR: [sighs] So, I got us an amazing real estate agent, who will find us an amazing apartment! そ、俺いい不動産屋に頼んだから、きっといいアパートだと思うぞ！ JAKE: Awesome, man. What's his name? へーすごいじゃん。なんて名前の不動産屋なの？ [Ben Schwartz shows up, as real estate agent.] （ベン・シュワルツ［不動産屋］が出てくる） BEN: Oh, my name? お！私の名前？ JAKE: Jesus Christ. うわ最悪だ BEN: It's funny you ask, 'cause I have a very ordinary name, and you've never met me before, so I can understand why you'd ask, so do you want to hear it? 面白い質問ですね～！確かに一度も会ったことないし、そう聞きたいのもわかります。でもごくごく普通の名前ですよ！ホントに聞きたい？？ JAKE: You shouldn't have to clarify-- お前明らかに前―― BEN: My name-- here it comes --my name is Cherry Dude! ...Cherry... Dude! 私の名前は―そう！私の名前は童貞野郎！……童貞……野郎！ JAKE: Nobody announces a name like that. 一番呼びたくない名前だな。 AMIR: [singing] Nobody does it better! （歌）それほど 2014-04-11T21:38:14+09:00 1397219894 https://w.atwiki.jp/jakeandamir/pages/38.html AMIR: Would you rather have-- ちょっと聞きたいんだけｄ JAKE: Whoa, whoa I said you could sit here quietly and bounce as long as you didn't interrupt anything I was doing. はいはいはい無言でバウンドしようがなにしようが俺は仕事を続けるし何にも言わないから。 AMIR: Fine! Would you rather have an infinite amount of chicken nuggets or an infinite amount of money? 無限にあるナゲットと無限にある金どっちを選ぶ？ JAKE: (sighs) Um... wow. Oh, geeze. That's tough. Where are the nuggets from? （ためいき）うーん…それは…難しい問題だな。そのナゲットはどこにあるんだ？ AMIR: Yes, that's what I asked! Yeah! They're chicken McNuggets from the D's! (bouncing rapidly) From the D's! From the D's! From the D's! よくぞ聞いてくれた！ナゲットはDSの中！DS！DS！ JAKE: Oh, from the D's, from the D's...Um, I guess definitely the money. I'd take the infinite amount of money. DS、うん、DSの中ね…　そうだな、選ぶんだったらまず間違いなく金。あるんだったら金。 AMIR: Uh, okay. Where would you put the money? あ…そう。じゃあその無限にある金の置き場所はどこにあるんだ？ JAKE: Oh, uh-- うん… AMIR: All of a sudden it's more difficult-- 突然来たら置き場所なんてないよな？ JAKE: No, I'd probably put it into a bank or something. 2014-04-01T12:41:42+09:00 1396323702 https://w.atwiki.jp/jakeandamir/pages/37.html (Jake and Amir sitting at their desks, across from each other.) （互いに向い合って座っている） JAKE (on his phone): Uh, yeah, July 1st. I'll be home. （電話に向かって）ああ、わかった。7月1日ね。家にいるから。 AMIR: (stretching his arms, trying to seem casual): 180... 180. (serious) Get off the phone, man. We're at work. （けだるそうに腕を伸ばす）180…　180。（真剣に）電話を切れ。仕事中だぞ。 JAKE (still on the phone, visibly disturbed): Uhm... （電話を持ったまま）俺は… AMIR: We're not supposed to use the phone at work. 仕事中、電話を使うことはないはずだ。 JAKE: (still on the phone): Alright, can I, do you think I can just call you back grandma?. Alright. Love you. Bye. （電話を持ったまま）わかったよ。ばあちゃんにまた折り返し電話をかけるって伝えてくれるか？じゃあね、愛してる。 AMIR: What's the best you can get on an IQ test? お前IQテストで最高何点とった？ JAKE: 200? 200とか？ AMIR: 180 is pretty good though, right? "Highly gifted" it says... IQ180だと頭がめちゃくちゃいいってことになるんだよ。人はそれを「天才」と呼ぶ… JAKE: What're you talking about? 何が言いたいんだ？ AMIR: I took an online IQ test, I got a 180. Pretty... 俺いまネットのIQテストやったらさ、IQ180取ったんだよ！それって… JAKE: Did you deduct 50 2014-04-08T19:35:53+09:00 1396953353 https://w.atwiki.jp/jakeandamir/pages/36.html INTRO: JAKE: You're watching Jake and Amir-- ご覧の番組は「Jake and Amir-- AMIR: Nah, stop, it's ruined. やーめろそんなんじゃダメだ。 JAKE: Yeah, you ruined it. お前がダメなんだよ。 AMIR: Exactly! [Jake is at his desk playing Angry Birds on his computer.] JAKE: This is what money is. This is money now. FUUDge that! 金だよ　金が全てだ。金来い。あ～～クソが！ (Amir walks up to him.) AMIR: Ohh, hey there. Do I look more.. confident to you? That's cuz I spent all of last night at a crash Karate course. よー、なあ、強くなったように見える？俺。昨夜はずっと空手の教えを学んでいたのさ。 JAKE: You look tired. 疲れてる？ AMIR: I feel alert. (Jake throws some socks at his face, and he doesn't react.) Attack me. 冴えてる。（靴下を投げつけるジェイク）来いよ。 JAKE: I just did. 今やったじゃん。 AMIR: N-n-no I'm saying get up, and punch me in the face! If ya got the cojones, brothers! ちげーよ立て、俺の顔面にパンチを食らわせてみろよ。男は度胸！何でもためしてみるのさ。 (Jake stands up and almost punches Amir in the face, stopping his fist right before it would have hit Amir.) AMIR: Oooh, didn't think you had the guts, Mike O'Malley! Let's go to m 2014-03-20T20:20:04+09:00 1395314404 https://w.atwiki.jp/jakeandamir/pages/35.html INTRO Amir - Hey, you’re watching Amir and Jake. ご覧の番組は「Amir and Jake」です。 Jake - What? は？ Amir - Let’s just switch it up a little. ちょっと入れ替えてみたのさ。 Jake - (scoffs) No. 戻せ。 Amir - OW. (Amir approaches Jake’s desk) （ジェイクの机に近づくアミール） AMIR: Blato! JAKE: New business card. Nice. 新しい名刺か。よかったね。 AMIR: Not just any business card. My business card. ただの名刺じゃない。俺の名刺だ。 JAKE: I know. I didn’t think you’re were carrying around-- 知ってるって。いやまさか、お前が名刺を― AMIR: My business card. 俺の名刺だ。 JAKE: --like some random business card. なんか名刺とか持ち歩いてると思わなかったからさ。 AMIR: My business card. 俺の名刺だ。 JAKE: OK, it’s blank. つーかそれ真っ白じゃん。 AMIR: (chuckles) It’s blank, or is it invisible ink? (pulls out a squirt bottle and sprays card, then starts waving it around) Here we go. (pause) Suddenly, the card comes to life. 真っ白か…見えないインクか？（霧吹きで名刺に吹き付けては振る）こうやって…　突然、ただの名刺に生命が宿る。 JAKE: Not ye- いやまｄ― AMIR: Not yet! (still shaking card) Not yet. まだなの！（カードを振り続ける）まだ。 JAKE: Don’t get mad, you’re getting really de 2014-03-17T20:02:10+09:00 1395054130 https://w.atwiki.jp/jakeandamir/pages/34.html INTRO JAKE: Hello, you're watching Jake and Amir! こんにちは、ご覧の動画は「Jake and Amir」です AMIR: Wow, hamming it up much! この大根役者が！ JAKE: Jesus. 何だよ。 AMIR: Diva! [Jake and Amir are at their desks.] AMIR: Holy guac! These Bitcoin things are ridinky-donky! I gotta have one, b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bad! ホーリーグラック！バカげてるな！はやくビットコインをゲットしなくちゃ～～～だめ！ JAKE: Stop it. Do you even know what a Bitcoin is? ちょっと待て。お前ビットコインが何なのか知ってるか？ AMIR: Yeah, the future of everything! [Making excessive air-quotes] You know "money"? Bitcoin is like "money", but, um... "better". もちろん。そりゃあらゆる未来のことだ！「金」は知ってるよな？ビットコインは「金」に似ている、でも……もっといいモンだ。 JAKE: You're overusing your air-quotes. Why do you think Bitcoin is better than money? [[エアクオート>http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E3%82%A8%E3%82%A2%E3%82%AF%E3%82%AA%E3%83%BC%E3%83%88]]使いすぎだろ。お前はなんでビットコインが金よりいいモンだと思うんだ？ AMIR: Because it's worth more than cash! ...Ya jackash! One Bitcoin is currently worth four hundred and fifty... cash! だって現金よりも価値があるからさ！…そう ジェイキャッシュ！ 今のところ1ビットコインで450ドル分の…現金 2014-03-12T22:10:14+09:00 1394629814 https://w.atwiki.jp/jakeandamir/pages/33.html INTRO Jake - Hey, you’re watching Jake and Amir. ご覧の番組は「Jake and Amir」です。 Amir - And I just sat in cheese! Thank you! Jake- How? JAKE: Hey, who’s chicaqueenvixenstyle.tumblr.com? なあ、「chicaqueenvixenstyle.tumblr.com」って誰だ？ AMIR: Promise not to tell? 言わない約束なのか？ JAKE: I already know it’s you. お前知ってんだろ。 AMIR: It’s me. 俺だよ。 JAKE: I know. 知ってる。 AMIR: I blog under a pseudonym so that people can’t really tell-- 誰にも言ってなかったんだけど、仮名でブログやってて―― JAKE: You don’t. You sign every single post Amir Valerie Blumenfeld. 投稿するたびに「Amir Valerie Blumenfeld」ってつけてるだろが。 AMIR: My blog is a one stop shop for mom and pop, but don’t bring dad around here. This ain’t no place for dads. 俺のブログは夫婦経営のワンストップショップ（なんでもそろう店）、でもどこにも父さんはいないんだ。父親の場所はどこにもない。 JAKE: Really bad slogan, dude. 最悪なスローガンだな。 AMIR: That’s why I barely even used it, dude. だからあんま使ってない。 JAKE: It’s everywhere on the front page. Like a lot. それ思いっきりタイトルに使ってんじゃん。 AMIR: Barely on there. そこだけちょっとね。 JAKE: Don’t say barely, you’re scroll 2014-03-08T13:50:01+09:00 1394254201