Karate - Jake and Amir.和訳wiki

INTRO:
JAKE: You're watching Jake and Amir--
ご覧の番組は「Jake and Amir--
AMIR: Nah, stop, it's ruined.
やーめろそんなんじゃダメだ。
JAKE: Yeah, you ruined it.
お前がダメなんだよ。
AMIR: Exactly!
[Jake is at his desk playing Angry Birds on his computer.]
JAKE: This is what money is. This is money now. FUUDge that!
金だよ　金が全てだ。金来い。あ～～クソが！
(Amir walks up to him.)
AMIR: Ohh, hey there. Do I look more.. confident to you? That's cuz I spent all of last night at a crash Karate course.
よー、なあ、強くなったように見える？俺。昨夜はずっと空手の教えを学んでいたのさ。
JAKE: You look tired.
疲れてる？
AMIR: I feel alert. (Jake throws some socks at his face, and he doesn't react.) Attack me.
冴えてる。（靴下を投げつけるジェイク）来いよ。
JAKE: I just did.
今やったじゃん。
AMIR: N-n-no I'm saying get up, and punch me in the face! If ya got the cojones, brothers!
ちげーよ立て、俺の顔面にパンチを食らわせてみろよ。男は度胸！何でもためしてみるのさ。
(Jake stands up and almost punches Amir in the face, stopping his fist right before it would have hit Amir.)
AMIR: Oooh, didn't think you had the guts, Mike O'Malley! Let's go to mo!
Oooh、まあお前に顔面パンチなんてできるわけないよな。これから毎日、家を焼こうぜ？
JAKE: So you didn't learn anything.
昨夜はなにも学ばなかったみたいだな。
AMIR: Alright, pretend you have a gun now.
じゃあわかった、銃を構えろ。
JAKE: I'd like to go back to work.
仕事に戻りたいんだけど。
AMIR: Just pretend you have a gun and try to shoot me in the face?
ほら、銃で俺の額を打ち抜けるか？
(Jake holds a finger gun up to Amir's head.)

AMIR: You don't wanna do this dance, partner! I'm afraid you're (Jake fake shoots Amir, who dodges with his head far too late) gonna be too slow on the draw--
俺と踊らない方がいいぜ彼女。あんたを抱き寄せてしまうのが怖い―
JAKE: I shot you.
もー撃ったよ。
AMIR: Well try again then, because I guarantee.. this one (Jake fake shoots him again, and Amir dodges too slowly again) WON'T be as successful, didn't think so--
もう一回やってみろ、絶対当たんないからな、保証する―
JAKE: You're not even doing anything to try to disarm me--
お前全然空手の技使ってないじゃん…
(Amir takes out a Swiss Army Knife and stabs Jake in the stomach.)
（アミールは持っていたナイフでジェイクの腹を刺す）
JAKE: AUGH! AAH! Oh my God!
アアッ！！ヤバっ……嘘だろ！
AMIR: (singing) Take that, dancing queen...
（歌いながら）ざまあ、ダンシングクイーン…
JAKE: Oh my God I'm gonna die now! You just killed me, dude!
嘘だろ死んじゃうよ！なんで刺した…
AMIR: Well then you shouldn't mess with the bull!
闘牛と一緒にメチャクチャにするな、な、お前
JAKE: You killed me, man...
人を殺したんだぞ、お前……
AMIR: Cuz then you're gonna get the horns for free (he puts his fingers up by his head to make horns, and scrapes his feet on the ground like a bull about to charge). Here we go, one more time--
タダでゲットしたツノだから（牛のような仕草をする）行くぞ、もう一回だけ
(David rushes to Jake's side.)
（デイビッドがジェイクの元に走ってくる）
DAVID: Oh my God, Jake. Someone call 911!
おいマジかよ！！誰か救急車を！
(The camera zooms in on Amir, as "Dancing Queen" fades in with a lot of reverb.)
（カメラはアミールにズームして、「ダンシング・クイーン」の曲のリザーブがかかる）
(The music stops, and the video cuts to Amir waking up at his desk.)
（音楽が止まり、アミールはデスクから飛び起きる）
AMIR: Euh, Ja-- oh, Jake, I had the weirdest, funniest dream.
うう、じぇ―ジェイク、今、おもろいけどめっちゃヘンな夢見たわ。
DAVID: (kneeling by Jake, who is being treated by two emergency doctors (Vikram and Cassidy).) How could you have possibly fallen asleep during all of this?
お前この大変なときに寝てたっていうのか！？
AMIR: You try teaching an all-night Karate course, alright, and see how easy it is for you to stay awake!
あんたは昨日の夜空手を教えてくれたけど、簡単に起きる方法は教えてくれなかった！
DAVID: You taught it?
教えたって？
AMIR: No, I didn't frickin'-- I'm talking about my sensei, man, that guy is a god!
いや、お前じゃない―「センセイ」に教わったんだよ、そう…神にな！
END.
OUTRO:
AMIR: (crying) I think something's wrong with me, man, I think I have mono. Can one of you doctor guys, preferably the male one, look at me? I think I have a legit freaking mono right now.