The story below is originally published on Mainichi Daily News by Mainichi Shinbun (http://mdn.mainichi.jp). |
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In fact, this is far from the general Japanese' behavior or sense of worth. |
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夫を殴る妻たち! 1998,12,20
Angst-ridden wives liberally administer the big spank
Shukan Hoseki 12/24 By Cheryl Chow
She's a well-groomed beauty who looks the part of the ideal wife and mother.
And as a paragon of womanly virtue, she can't be beat...literally.
Shukan Hoseki explodes the lie behind misconceptions of“the weaker sex”in Japan in its feature about the rise in the ranks of women who physically beat their husbands.
For instance, the woman described above has punched her spouse in eyes badly enough for him to seek medical attention and shoved him down the stairs, breaking his ribs.
Her behavior may seem extreme, but she is hardly an isolated ease.
While there is growing recognition that domestic violence goes beyond mere marital spats, the article focuses on the growing, yet scarcely acknowledged fact that men are increasingly becoming the victims in such altercations.
Hoseki cites a few examples: One 34-year-old man sensed something wrong when his wife began burning his clothes whenever she ironed them.
Soon, her inexplicable behavior escalated into knocking him around, cuffing him on the shoulders and kicking him in the stomach.
But it wasn't until the wife's assault left him nearly blind that the man filed for divorce.
Another man's wife greeted him with kicks and blows when he would come home late from work.
He finally sought the help of clinical psychologist Motonobu Kohama, who told Hoseki that the man's body was covered with hideous welts and bruises.
These women, it seems, turn trifling marital disputes into martial workouts - with their husbands as hapless targets.
The aforementioned beauty, for instance, would be set off by an innocuous remark from her husband, like“This table is dusty.”“So why do you beat your husband?”Hoseki asks her.
Why shouldn't I?”the woman retorts.
He makes angry. And it's up to him to figure out why.”Has she ever considered stopping the battering?“If that's what he wants, he ought to stop me. My hitting him is a form of discipline.”
One characteristic these violence-prone women share is that they are extremely attractive physically - or so says neuropsychologist Dr.Yuki yamaoka.
He explains to Hoseki that the problem with these women is that they“always need to be admired by others to fill up the yawning emptiness within themselves.”
For these narcissists, marriage is just a means to fulfill their needs without having to bother expressing them.And when their expectations are thwarted, they strike out with their hands and feet.
Kohama, the psychologist, says,“In the past, when this type of emotional dependency wasn't fulfilled, it would manifest itself as physical symptoms like ulcers. But for young couples today, the anxiety leads directly to violence.”In other words, violence manifests itself as form of expression.
But the recipients of this expressive communication sometimes seem to wallow in martyrdom.
For instance, Hoseki reports that one man apparently encouraged praise for his patience and fortitude in the face of his spouse's violence.
According to Kohama, it's because young men today have had little experience with violence.
“So instead of trying to stop the assault when they get hit, they panic. Then they think mostly of how to bear the brunt of the attack as best they can.”
Divorce consultant Hiromi Ikeuchi claims that today, more than ever, women are raising their hands - and feet - against their husbands.
“Of the 2,000 divorce cases I've handled,”she tells Hoseki,“40 percent are filed by men, and of these, 70 percent confess that they can no longer put up with being battered by their wives.”
Escaping marriage may be the only solution left for these men, suggests Yamaoka, the neuropsychologist.
Once the woman has crossed over into violence, there's no turning back.
The man has a choice between taking the heat or getting out of the kitchen.(CC)
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