A.Diddy - ourincidents @ ウィキ

• Given to A.Birkett after making a remarkable number of grossly sexual, often illegal comments.
• In earlier developments of his perversion in spring-summer 2025, A.Birkett was reported to have messaged, "Rise and shine back shot time" and the notorious "I'm hungry FOR PUSSY" line, whose severity was emphasised by its discovery during the genuinely concerning L.Braschi Disappearance & Suspected Death Incident, as well as the strange claim he thought that "BDSM was an art form," which raised eyebrows in wider Alliance Number 1.
• This foul nature would only accelerate and inflate over time, with the comments listed below being only a fraction of all the now-notorious sex monster A.Diddy has transmitted. These range from harmless confessions of homosexuality to serious sex crimes.
• Categorised vaguely by content:
• Masturbation & Self-Indulgence
• "Teletubby wank"
• "Doctor Who wank"
• "4G wank"
• "6G (wank)"
• "Human Resources wank"
• "upside down wank"
• "Belgian chocolate wank"
• "Ankle monitor wank"
• "Newton's Cradle Wank"
• "I'm gonna have a quick wank"
• "I'm also stroking myself"
• "I've had 50 wanks in a row"
• "I'm gonna touch myself"
• "I am Mister wank"
• "Anyway! Anyway! Back to having a wank"
• "What if I started vigorously touching myself"
• "I'm now going to wank off but not with myself"
• "Would you jork it for me?"
• (during among us) "I ejaculated when that body was found"
• " I'm gonna have a wank on you"
• "If someone had a wank on the Eiffel Tower, would it hit someone"
• "Don't look under your bed I'm there masturbating"
• "I'm seeing how many fingers I can fit up my bum"
• "I put a finger up my bum"
• "I've got fingers up my bum bum"
• "I'm coming" (many times, often accompanied by obvious sounds of self-pleasure beforehand)
• "I'm gonna make pornographic imagery"
• "Premium porn is good"
• "I invented porn"
• (admission to consuming gay pornographic content)
• "I've got like 5 prostitutes"
• "When I go to the brothel and these women go do you want some granny puss"
• Lust, Sexuality, Perversion
• (to "Who's gay?") "ME!"
• "I love seeing men in their underwear being hit by paintballs"
• "I am piss kink"
• "If I'm such a baby why aren't I being breastfed"
• "If I'm such a cow why am I not being milked"
• "I have a chilly willy"
• "Do octopuses suck dick?"
• "You know people say there's a hole there's a goal? What about the hole in guitars?"
• "lollipop made of cock"
• (after expressing desire to remove someone's cock) "sometimes you just have to get squirted on"
• "Firstly I'm into fat bitches"
• "Fingers up your bum"
• "gonna put a frog up your rectum"
• "5GJ of energy up my rectum"
• "There's a dead body in my rectum"
• "(T.Marshall)'s dad probably has smegma"
• "who wants my object in their mouth?"
• "would you itch my balls for me"
• "Well I'd put ink in your penis"
• "would you like to eat my rod"
• "I'm gonna rip open your scrotum"
• "That's the sound you make when I put my penis in your mouth"
• "I'm gonna cum on your bum"
• "I think I've got someone's semen on my nose"
• "I like cum on my nose"
• "Would you suck Adolf Hitler's penis for £1,000,000,000?"
• "so you're saying if I had £1,000,000,000 I could pay you to suck my cock"
• "If you don't want my penis in your mouth, you won't tell anyone (about his perversion)"
• "Foot up your bum"
• "Did you know I'm erect right now"
• "I have a chilly willy"
• "My penis is better than all of you"
• "Do you want to have a gay orgy later"
• "I'm going to lick your foot"
• "Y'know, with my anatomy I bet I could finger four women at the same time"
• "I have pussy on my mind"
• "(I am) eating out an attractive women"
• "What yall know about John clitoris"
• "I actually have a uterus"
• "I just like hitting elderly women's g-spot"
• "I love titties"
• "Titties in among us"
• "show me your willy"
• "how big are your testicles?"
• "I'm gonna stretch your foreskin"
• "I'm gonna send a hairy scrotum to the group chat"
• "I'm gonna send you guys a picture of a penis"
• "Sometimes I'm hard, sometimes I'm soft and my best friends are bollocks"
• "I will fart up your nose"
• (to S.Moroné) "how hairy are your balls 1 being as smooth as a baby's bottom and 10 being a new ecosystem"
• "Hey (S.Moroné) my dick's pretty cold can I warm it up between those buttcheeks?"
• "Say I was gonna die if I didn't have sexual intercourse with a man called (S.Moroné)"
• "(S.Moroné) does your penis curve more to the right or the left, or is it perfectly straight like a ruler?"
• "Breathe in when it's going in (S.Moroné)" [S.Moroné did not consent whatsoever]
• "I'm going to shove my cock so far down your throat you will choke and die"
• (to D.Crowther-Day) "I'm gonna come to your home, break in and chase you around while naked while covered in pig blood"
• (to D.Crowther-Day) "you love booty cheeks in your face" (he probably doesn't)
• (to D.Crowther-Day) "Okay gay boy time to touch me!"
• "I'm gonna clap those cheeks like there's no tomorrow"
• "(D.Golding) likes semen but not seafood" (he likes neither)
• "I'm entering (T.Golding)"
• "I said I'm going to touch your bum bum"
• (after anyone on calls announces their departure to shower) "Can I join?"
• "grippy grippy oh it's so grippy!"
• "Do you think a person with an STD could do a trick shot and infect someone that way"
• Illegal
• "I just like licking small children"
• "I've been feeling small children"
• "I love minors!"
• "8-year-old son wank"
• "If I was trapped in a room with 5 children do you know what I'd do?"
• "I'm a monkey butt fanatic"
• "monkey booty in your face"
• "horse nut used as glue"
• "Is Carla (L.Braschi's then-year 7 sister) trying to ram it up your bum?"
• "I'm going to molest you"
• "Why are you (D.Crowther-Day) so easy to rape?"
• (to the concept of not raping) "That's boring!"
• (after S.Moroné disagreed with A.Birkett) "I am going to rape you"
• "You know (how) a dog humps another dog, well, when I see an attractive women and start humping her leg I'm the sex offender"
• "I am Jeffrey Epstein"
• "You gotta admire (Jeffrey Epstein)"
• "You gotta admire the grind! (of a pedophile)"
• Moreover, he has previously claimed all quotes are from the heart and that he has never lied in his life.