Sir Mister Sir - ourincidents @ ウィキ

• Sir Mister Sir refers to a legendary supply teacher found very rarely within Ely College.
• While covering a business lesson in late 2023, where S.Moroné and D.Crowther-Day, both of Alliance Number 1, were present, the foul behaviour of the class caused the man to call the entirety of the students "Circus Clowns" and "Monkeys".
• He also later stated that if the poor behaviour in the class was to continue, the offending student would be "Hasta la Vista," and, referring to a removal, "God Knows where you'll go". Incredible.
• It was this lesson where his current title was coined, as after an Alliance Number × member asked for the supply teacher's name, he gave this strange "Sir Mister Sir" as the answer.
• After a seemingly year-long hiatus with no sightings, suddenly, on the 27th March 2025, A.Emery of Alliance Number 1 reported both his business lessons for that day had been covered by the man himself.
• Next, L.Braschi and S.Moroné found to their delight Sir Mister Sir standing in PE2, covering for their PSHE lesson on Relationship Abuse. See Essence of Grief for details on the PSHE incidents.
• Calm and demure, the teacher began the lesson with an overview of his expectations. According to him, "If you Talk, you Walk," (if you talk, you are removed) with this message being reiterated in the strange catchphrase "Walkie-Talkie."
• Upon seeing the topic for the lesson, he proceeded to state, "Relationships... Fish&Chips" to the hysteric uproar of the class.
• However, the worst was yet to come. The register, the seemingly most uneventful element of a lesson, was the peak of Sir Mister Sir's character.
• After calling 10W/En1 student Juliette's name, Sir Mister Sir, instead of Noah, inexplicably proceeded to call for "Romeo." Upon being asked why as the students drowned in laughter, he sheepishly answered, "Word Association."
• From this moment onward, Sir Mister Sir began to add his own spin onto every single name on the register.
• Emily: "Emily Brontë."
• Bea: "To Bea or not to Bea."
• Ben: "Ten out of Ten."
• Tom: "Where's Jerry?" followed by a joke about a foreigner in a hotel finding "Jerry" in his room because he allegedly didn't know the word "mouse" yet.
• Bernado: his name followed by the most Diddy, diddiest diddle-dingle "Hey..." ever diddied by a diddy in the diddy-time complex. The additonal nickname "SMS. Diddy" was created here.
• S.Moroné (after indicating the pronunciation of Shi-Nos-Key): "Namaste" (argued to be racially motivated by S.Moroné as it was the first foreign reference yet and also sounded only very vaguely like his name).
• Olivia: (in SMS. Diddy) "Shall we leave that there...?.." (It was reported by S.Moroné to have been said so diddily that he half-thought the man would say "Shall we dance" or something similar.)
• Lucas (absent): (To explain the lack of his presence) "He's gone Scuba Diving."
• After this whole register debacle, A.Brown of Alliance Number 3 was recruited to take the paper register to attendance office as he allegedly "had itchy feet."
• Sir Mister Sir blamed his strange statements and actions on the fact he was fasting for Ramadan.
• A clip on abusive relationships was viewed by the class. After the 2.5min clip showed a scape remarkably similar to the labyrinth in Roblox game Spongebob Tower Defence (of which S.Moroné was trapped and endlessly wandering in for 20 minutes), it came to an end, warning youths of the insidious and hidden nature of some forms of abuse. After this heartful moment, Sir Mister Sir proceeded to call the abuser in the clip "a baddie," to the tumultuous laughter of the students.
• Another much longer, 16min clip focusing on a live-action scenario of an abusive relationship was viewed. The victim of abuse, after much toil, faced in the end a relatively relieving ending, where her mother comforted her and led her from further harm. L.Braschi called this ending "underwhelming." Sir Mister Sir obviously agreed, as he claimed he expected the victim to end up "dead somewhere in a forest."
• After this clip, Sir Mister Sir returned to the lesson PowerPoint without closing YouTube. Therefore, seconds later, a video in parliament showing a Labour Party MP talking to the House of Commons started playing automatically. Sir Mister Sir hurriedly closed the video.
• The topic briefly moved to the consequences of ending a relationship, specifically the ailment of a broken heart.
• Sir Mister Sir claimed the best fix to this was to get a "Superdoctor to apply Superglue" to the heart. What the bloody hell is a "Superdoctor"???
• After this, Sir Mister Sir searched for a final clip for the final 12 minutes until the end of the school day. Such a video contained details concerning physical violence: an abusive partner punching their spouse. One of the students in the back row, in irony, shouted "What just happened!?"
• Swiftly, another member of their row yelled back, "Let me reenact it for you!" Sir Mister Sir ignored all of this.
• The lesson was drawing nearer to a close. He asked the class what they had learned in the hour: "What is the takeaway (from this lesson)? Or some of the takeaways?" Nobody answered.
• Sir Mister Sir said, in a brisk tone, confirming the previous "takeaway" allusion to the statement he had made at the start, that the "moral of the story" was to "Stick to Fish&Chips." Unbelievable.
• Sir Mister Sir wanted quiet before he let the students exit. In allusion to the English saying, "you could hear a pin drop," he held his heavy, black coiled computer cable and said "I need to hear this when I drop it." Needless to say, everyone heard it.
• And so the legendary hour drew its terminal curtains.