Bowling Calamity of May 2025 - ourincidents @ ウィキ

• The Bowling Calamity of May 2025 was a meeting between four members of Alliance Number 1-First Division: D.Crowther-Day, D.Golding, T.Golding and S.Moroné, where the day consisted of a lovely noon out to Bury St. Edmunds to play two games of bowling.
• After arrival, bowling shoes were equipped and silly names were assigned to each member: "ABUNG" for D.Golding (a misspelling of Dabing); "Timpani" for T.Golding; "Disc" for D.Crowther-Day and "SHARPSAND" for S.Moroné, though only "SHARPS" was displayed on the scoring monitor.
• The first match commenced. Kick off consisted of D.Golding immediately whamming a ball directly into the right gutter, to the others' disbelief. This mockery was short-lived however. T.Golding knocked down a dazzling 8 pins on the first frame. D.Crowther-Day managed a few pins, to his own disappointment but an overall consensus of moderation. S.Moroné however got two consecutive gutters on the first frame. This became six consecutive gutters in the coming frames, to the members' dismay. Between the atrocious play, D.Golding managed a beautiful strike, D.Crowther-Day a wonderful spare, and T.Golding consecutive pins greater than 5. S.Moroné then managed to hit 4 pins; then three consecutive gutters. In celebration of D.Golding's strike, S.Moroné slammed his hand into the keyboard where the player names could be entered, inducing a disproportionate degree of pain. D.Golding did the exact same minutes later. D.Crowther-Day and T.Golding gradually built up their points, while D.Golding sporadically either hit amazing 8+ pin shots or horrifyingly curved gutters. It was rumoured by S.Moroné and D.Crowther-Day that D.Golding's gigantic arcs he drew in the air in preparation to his bowling led to severe energy loss and thus caused some of his worse gutters. In one instance the pendulum-movements were so great D.Crowther-Day feared D.Golding would just shoot the ball directly upwards. Point wise, S.Moroné was cooked.
• In despair, knowing his certain defeat as he saw the 30-point difference between him and D.Crowther-Day, S.Moroné began to claim he wanted to "do the Egashira Special."
• The Egashira Special is a bowling technique employed by Japanese comedian and YouTuber Egashira 2:50 after repeated gutters and an overall poor performance in a game of bowling he was engaging in for a video. This specialised move consists of holding either side of the ball with both hands in a wide, open-legged stance, and trying to roll the ball straight by swinging both arms forward. Egashira managed two more gutters as a result of utilising this method.
• S.Moroné's ball indeed went straight into the right gutter two metres after release using the Egashira Special.
• D.Crowther-Day emerged victorious with 52 points in the first game, with T.Golding very close behind, D.Golding third and S.Moroné in hell with a measly 20 odd points.
• The second round then immediately began. Kick off was strong; D.Golding scored a high-pin hit from the get-go. S.Moroné as ever got a gutter, then one pin. The other two got a gutter each but relatively good knockdowns on the next bowl. Next frame: similar to last but D.Golding got more gutters. S.Moroné repeated history by getting a gutter and one pin. Third frame: D.Golding gets a perfect strike. The beauty of the technique led to a moment of silence in the four. S.Moroné also managed 9 pins, to his delight. It turned to a bad game for T.Golding, as he sustained 6 consecutive gutters, but the skies cleared for D.Crowther-Day and S.Moroné as they both attained a spare. But they couldn't overcome D.Golding's (intermittent) but insane bowling calibre, and the match came to a close with the previously-third player coming triumphant. S.Moroné still got third, with a point gap between him and the second-place D.Crowther-Day. Alas.
• Then, a lovely meal was consumed by the four, though admittedly the food waste was awful; salads, potato skin (as D.Golding couldn't eat on one side of his mouth following a tooth extraction) and admittedly stone-hard pizza crust.
• Inexplicably, the Goldings' father gave the four £10 each to spend in the arcade; an excessive sum considering the arcade's quality and size was questionable. A few rounds of air hockey was enjoyed, and D.Golding attempted some basketball games. Then, >1 hour was spent on a 2p machine as the four spotted a rip-off rubber blue My Little Pony model inside, and wanted to get it for D.Golding's sake. This endeavour was unfruitful, as only two packs of Jelly Beans, "Mr Chew," and a soft plastic green ring of a three-legged tortoise were the only items which fell from the machine. The sheer time spent doing this was so excessive that D.Crowther-Day and S.Moroné went bonkers: shoving coins into pockets and shoes, prodding tickets into foreheads, etc.
• Finally, an excessive number of air hockey matches was done, where D.Crowther-Day attempted to use "mind games" to manipulate his opponents. This involved throwing the pusher forward instead of the puck, hitting nothing, hiding the puck beneath the hitter, knocking the puck off the table and "purposefully allowing the opponent to score to lead them into a false sense of security," though the legitimacy of the latter isn't by any measure secure.
• Another example of the mind games was trash-talking the opponent, though after doing this D.Crowther-Day, the mind-gamer, immediately conceded a point.
• Furthermore, D.Crowther-Day also feigned hitting the puck hard by whacking at nothing, then toyed with the puck by knocking it gently back and forth thrice on his side of the table, in an attempt to confuse the opponent. Unfortunately, the third little knock led to the puck sliding neatly and directly into his own slot. This led to all four members collapsing on the floor in disbelief.
• The day ended in a car journey back to Ely, where S.Moroné got heatstroke and died.