- Turkish Barber Incidents are the distasteful results of members of Alliance Number 1 venturing into the Turkish Barbers of society.
- Prominent victims include D.Golding, S.Moroné and Y.Chen throughout the span of Ely College years.
- Documentations of right angles, polygons, parabola, parallel sides, destructive plate margins and vitreous humour within such haircuts have been recorded within our database.
- As parasitic shadow peoples armed with scissors (known as a detachable esca* which forms organically as part of their body), Turkish Barbers cannot be negotiated nor fought due to their ferocity.
- Known to feed off hair follicles (explaining why they cut so much off), Turkish Barbers have been reported to break children's necks when telling them to move their head down and cause significant lacerations mid-haircut due to their lack of precision.
- Whether they are hematophagic** remains to be seen, however their brutality in simply cutting hair suggests so.
- The sprays and hair wax applied post-haircut is known to be horse saliva, whereas the rough blanket applied pre-haircut to avoid hair falling onto clothes is known to be woven from human finger skin.
- *modified fin ray seen as scythe-like structures in Turkish Barbers and glowing stalks in Anglerfish
- **To feed primarily off of blood
