- The Incidental Outing of Spring 2025 is a string of minor incidents which all occurred between 10:30-15:45 on the 29th March, involving L.Braschi, D.Crowther-Day, T.Golding, D.Golding and S.Moroné, all of Alliance Number 1.
- L.Braschi and his father arrived to pick up the Goldings and S.Moroné and take them to their home. On this car ride, D.Golding claimed he had "Never been to B&M" despite specifically going there for a business trip only a few weeks before.
- After fiddling for far too long on a Mario game level named "Gavid Dolding" made by L.Braschi, where D.Golding repeatedly made the silly same mistakes, to the uproar of the other 4, it was decided it would be good to walk to the town of Ely to purchase both eggs for the planned baking session and lunch.
- After this decision, D.Crowther-Day was gifted an unidentifiable ice-cream? cake? lollipop? plushie from an arcade by the Goldings, shaped like a heart with a handle. This is a direct callback to Dylan CD Day.
- On the way to town, D.Crowther-Day and the others went now to his home so he could pick up some cash. The unbelievable nature of D.Crowther-Day's garden was greatly underestimated.
- There, a swing (allegedly at risk of collapse and killing the rider), a silly frog model, a stone replica of a joker, the Buddha, a dead man (genuinely just a human skeleton), a pink deranged day-of-the-dead skeleton, a television with bird faeces on it, a printer, a vacuum cleaner, detached fan blades, an entirely rusted-over saw, an axe head, two naval floats, a Queen Conch, a Fluted Giant Clam, a shallow pond of stagnant water (which was allegedly flowing through a small pump which clearly wasn't working since the water was dark swamp green), a bedazzled-looking Moai statue, an uncanny tribal-esque potato-faced sculpture and finally a colossal (hot-tub?) pool of entirely rotten water with brown foamy residue floating on top with only a blue buoy indicating the substance's state of matter was found. S.Moroné described this tank to probably "have a good few people in there."
- While walking to town, S.Moroné reported he saw a woman simply execute a Nazi salute suddenly in public.
- After nearly being run over, the destination was finally reached.
- B&M still had a hole in the ceiling, though seemingly in a different area. The five, once again for S.Moroné and D.Crowther-Day, got lost in this labyrinthine store, after showing the other three the locations for various incidents from the Business Trip 3 Incidents.
- A man simply holding a vehicle's licence plate was spotted and so reported to the authorities.
- In the famous European shop, D.Crowther-Day purchased his usual course of Halva, cheese cylinder and halal luncheon meat slab, whereas S.Moroné bought a Dragon Fruit, under a £4.99 debt to D.Crowther-Day.
- On the way home, L.Braschi, putting his mouth area to his drinks bottle, made some silly "Wah-Wahhh" noises, in direct vicinity of a member of the public who turned out to be his own teacher from primary school.
- The five made it back to L.Braschi's home safely. However, the baking was where the true extent of the incidents began.
- Ingredients to the planned Victoria Sponge included: 4l cow blood, 0.002 Mg butter, 4 unborn chickens, "sugar," and ascending flour.
- While attempting to measure 200g of sugar, D.Golding salivated an unbelievable volume onto the floor as a result of his braces, to the horror of the other 4.
- After this measuring and consequential vigorous whisking (not using the "clean" whisk that dripped white-tinted fluid), the soon-to-be cake mixture was poured into the circular metal baking tin, just as the oven reached the appropriate temperature. It seemed as if the skies were clear.
- L.Braschi held the tin firmly with both hands, and lifted it hastily from the kitchen counter, the destination set for the oven.
- As soon as the tin was elevated from the counter, the bottom of the baking tin and cake mixture inside detached and plummeted to the floor, artfully gracing a vertical 180° rotation so that the important contents, i.e, the fruit of the entire day's endeavour, were the first to make contact with firm land.
- Oh the uproar. The devastation of a degree transcending language. Oh the horror! Oh the sorrow!
- With no towel in the kitchen, L.Braschi ran to the bathroom and grabbed half a roll of toilet paper, with which he melancholically wiped the fruit of his labour from the grey floor, though only after stepping on the tin so the cake mixture oozed horribly from the sides, in manner comparable to some beached jellyfish.
- L.Braschi also went and fetched the good old Mop & Bucket, however, when attempting to fill the said bucket, seemingly had an aversion to removing the mop from its holder, to the incredulity of the remaining 4. This confusion was only tripled when the said mop bashed hard into the ceiling as L.Braschi lifted the setup to the kitchen sink.
- After mopping, the remaining cake mix bits on the floor were wiped up, and sent to L.Braschi's kitchen's waste disposal unit, aptly named "Tartarus" for its hue connoting ash and fire.
- Twas not all a disaster however, (it was), as the other half of the cake remained intact, as the Victoria Sponge is composed of two layers with jam between. Thus, after carefully, carefully, carefully putting the other layer into the oven, the 5 decided to make the icing of the cake. This went smoothly, thought to be due to the shock of the previous events hindering any potential hazard-causing banter. A small nut was tossed into the mix last second by L.Braschi.
- And so, the cake was baked. While the cream-yellow icing and raw red jam caused the single-layer sponge to assume a form not dissimilar to a gangrenous wound, the flavour was indeed wonderful. Albeit, nobody received the nut, meaning it was embedded somewhere in the remaining cake; later unceremoniously choked on by L.Braschi.
- While watching the hilarious 😂 British TV show IT crowd, the 5 consolidated the events of the day.
- And so such an outing drew its curtains, with the five departing into the coming seasons with a newborn appreciation for structurally sound baking tins.
- ...however, it was pointed out by a number of Alliance Number 1 members that this document was inconclusive and missed a number of crucial details such as details on "Gavid Dolding," samosas, IT crowd, Jackbox, and transport after departure. So, this succeeding document, written painstakingly by D.Golding and polished to a first-class standard, shall describe these events seemingly "forgotten" 🤨 by S.Moroné.
- See Incidental Outing of Spring 2025: Even More Details
